Small Blessings- Mrs. Scudder

     2024 was supposed to be my lucky year. Twenty-four is my favorite number. Lily graduated from high school and was excited to go to Quinnipiac, her first choice. Megan spent a semester in Italy and had the time of her life. Lily and I went to visit her. And our whole family was so excited to go to Costa Rica. Jon’s dream trip. He loves wild animals so much, and could not wait to explore. Losing him was the most profound type of loss I have ever experienced. He was the most kind, generous, fun-loving person I had ever met. And he chose to love me and my children with all his heart. The grief we feel has no end. But soon after his passing I chose to find small blessings in my everyday world.

I was amazed at the love and support I felt from all my friends and family. My class is truly amazing; they make coming to work fun. So many people have made me meals, invited me out, let me cry on their shoulder, walked with me and my 3 dogs, helped me clean out my house and listened when I needed to talk.

Andy’s Kitchen has been a home away from home. During Covid we started getting takeout from there to support locally. One of Jon’s good friends, Tony, visited there so much that he began working there. This quickly led to Tony Tuesdays. Every Tuesday the guys would all head down there to share some drinks and laughs. We even had our Tony Tuesday women’s nights too. We all became fast friends and enjoyed our time together. When Jon died, they were all at Andy’s Kitchen when I texted them to let them know. Despite feeling their own grief, they banded together, picked us up from the airport and had food waiting for us. They wrapped us in their arms and let us cry on their shoulders. They helped me plan his celebration of life.

Jon’s picture sits at the bar and greets me whenever I walk in. The whole crew gives me hugs, and we laugh and cry together. Recently, they invited me for dinner. As always the food was delicious, and after they all presented me with a quilt. They had taken Jon’s shirts and had a beautiful quilt made as a keepsake for our family.

When Lily came home to take her finals virtually, I wrapped her in the quilt. When Megan returned home and was missing Jon, I wrapped her in the quilt. When I am feeling extra sad, I wrap myself in the quilt. Each shirt has a story. A trip we took, a team we loved to watch, his high school football shirt, a shirt I threatened to hide because it was old and ratty. 

January is especially difficult, as it is Jon’s birthday, followed by Connor’s birthday the next day, and mine the week after. We always celebrated together. This year is a big birthday for me and we had planned a big trip just the two of us. Instead, I planned a pizza party for him with all his favorite friends. I know this will be a sad week, but we are taking comfort in being with friends, and sharing all our favorite Jon stories. We will all wrap ourselves a little tighter in our quilt.